Monday, September 27, 2010

umpteenth edge

These words are false.

I traverse the path to the ultimate origin of consciousness backward.  I do not turn around to look at the source.  I see only the manifestations in front of me, and the edge of them.  And I encapsulate the edge into another experience, another manifestation.  And that creates a new edge.  Moving backward as edge upon edge recedes into the manifestation sphere from which I continuously renew detachment.

Now I let go of the edges coming and going, paying them no mind, removing the mind like a wet towel from the hook of consciousness and dropping it into the receding edges.  There is a physical relaxation in my expanding skull.

Edges dissolve, my body is not me, my mind is not me, my surroundings are not me.  I create them, these manifestations.  There is nothing in a moment that I wish to follow, nothing I wish to latch onto.  Each new moment is fresh.  Boredom has ceased.  Effort has ceased and I no longer have to try because I accept all that is now, my act of creation.

Oh yes, I can pretend it all means something.  I can play my part.  I am American.  I am Father.  I am Corporate Worker.  I am Commuter.  I am Consumer.  I am Patron of the Arts.  I am Husband.  I am Lover.  I am Emotional Being.  I am Human Being.  I am Being.  But my heart's not in it.  I am free of freedom, surrendered without a sound or a doubt.  This body could die today.  This body will die.  This body has already sealed its fate.  This body has already died.

I then turn to face the origin.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

the liking and the disliking

You cannot go against nature because when you do it's a part of nature too. If we are ignorant, destructive, cruel, wasteful, homicidal and war-like, it is within our nature. That an act causes others to suffer does not imply that it is against nature. Lies are no less natural than truth. Hatred is not any more unnatural than love. War and peace are both within nature.

If You think I'm insane, You're right. This is not the way most people seem to think. This is not consensus new age reality, wherein what is good and bad, right and wrong are preconceived, and sensibilities are easily offended.

I believe that we should remove our filters and take what is simply and plainly before us, just as it is. For the moment, I'm going to emphasize the aspects we typically consider more negative, to make a particular point. Keep reading. This is not a downward spiral of morbidity.

So here we are, in this world of ignorance, destruction, cruelty, waste, homicide and war. Here we are in this life in which we have caused others to suffer, in which we have lied, in which we have hated. What is undeniable is that we are here, for a time, living and doing in this kind of existence of which these are undeniable aspects.

Most of us know that the ugly side of life is a kind of teacher. We learn from our mistakes and the mistakes of others, or perhaps better stated, we learn from our suffering and the suffering of others. We learn to do it or not do it, whatever it is, better next time. Learning informs our choices. For what we also undeniably have, is choice. We are compelled to choose, every moment. And if You choose not to decide, You still have made a choice. (Can't help it, sorry!)  And awareness of suffering, of life's underbelly, gives us a basis for our choices. Offended new age sensibilities are an indication of choices made, of values, of discernment.  We have watched closely and we have learned how to choose wisely, to minimize suffering.

Minimizing suffering seems to change meaning as we proceed through life. Certainly as an infant and child we exclusively try to minimize our own suffering. Later, we might feel allegiance to one group or another, and seek to minimize overall suffering of the group, even if that means slightly more personal suffering. Hence that athlete risks debilitating injury for his team, the corporate drone works through the weekend to make the company successful, the mother puts herself in harm's way to protect the family, the soldier sacrifices life and limb for his country.

But in a later stage suffering is a foregone conclusion, nature's way, and often useful, not in a cruel sense, but in a manner that helps us tune in to our situation in this human reality, here and now. Existential suffering in this later stage shows us that consciousness seems caught in a body, a shell that it has to inhabit, for a time, to taste this way of being. Consciousness, without memory, seem unable to recall that there is a price for this tasting. The tasting is full-on, all-in, pleasure and pain. Really consciousness doesn't mind the pain; it is the body-shell that gets caught up in all the liking and disliking.

And it seems to me that this brings up a deeper choice. I can choose to conserve the energy of the liking and the disliking, to let it build for a future, ultimate turning point. I suspect the energy that we expend concerning ourselves with liking and disliking the inevitable, unchanging, long suffering human condition, could perhaps can be put to use in another way.

Maybe the sages call this "complete acceptance" or something like that.  I don't know. But I ask: does consciousness have choice? Could it choose not to build the human body-shell in the first place? Could it choose to build one that moves in a less painful modality than the one we all inhabit here and now? Could it choose some other plane of existence if we were to simply let go and accept all aspects of the one we are in? Could it choose non-existence?

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

cross legged circle

I've got a big room. I cannot leave the big room, at least not in this lifetime. But I can fill it with dragons and refrigerators and number two pencils and cardamom and anything else I can think of. Or I can empty it, completely empty it, in the blink of an eye.  Welcome to my big room.

The thing about having, doing, writing, maintaining a blog is that, usually, to be of interest, the blog should to have something to say. That's the trouble, see. There really isn't anything at all to say, meaning no one has got anything to say, really. You could safely ignore these letters, these words, this post, this blog, this notion of an Important Idea, this big room. You'll be fine, oh yes You will.  Because, as You no doubt already know, the really Important Ideas usually look like this:
Important Idea
and you'll not find anything that looks like that here. So if that's the stimulus You're after, feel free to turn your continuous partial attention to notion asserters of due import. I left that world behind and do not intend, with this blog, to reenter it.

So why do this?  Why write Non-Important Ideas?  Why open the door to this big room for so many anonymous human kin and others to peer into? I got this blog for my birthday. And I've decided I'm all growed up enough to tell You what's in my big room, or what's not in it, as the case may be. You will not want to miss this, oh no You won't. You may like what You find, or You may not.  You may find it odd, or mundane.  It's not Important, You know.  The delicious, illuminative, visionary life eludes as a sinusoidal tickle that cannot be reached by Important Ideas. These tiny post-partisan past participle post particles floating in a universe of too much information will induce sneezing.  Guhbleshoo.