Monday, September 27, 2010

umpteenth edge

These words are false.

I traverse the path to the ultimate origin of consciousness backward.  I do not turn around to look at the source.  I see only the manifestations in front of me, and the edge of them.  And I encapsulate the edge into another experience, another manifestation.  And that creates a new edge.  Moving backward as edge upon edge recedes into the manifestation sphere from which I continuously renew detachment.

Now I let go of the edges coming and going, paying them no mind, removing the mind like a wet towel from the hook of consciousness and dropping it into the receding edges.  There is a physical relaxation in my expanding skull.

Edges dissolve, my body is not me, my mind is not me, my surroundings are not me.  I create them, these manifestations.  There is nothing in a moment that I wish to follow, nothing I wish to latch onto.  Each new moment is fresh.  Boredom has ceased.  Effort has ceased and I no longer have to try because I accept all that is now, my act of creation.

Oh yes, I can pretend it all means something.  I can play my part.  I am American.  I am Father.  I am Corporate Worker.  I am Commuter.  I am Consumer.  I am Patron of the Arts.  I am Husband.  I am Lover.  I am Emotional Being.  I am Human Being.  I am Being.  But my heart's not in it.  I am free of freedom, surrendered without a sound or a doubt.  This body could die today.  This body will die.  This body has already sealed its fate.  This body has already died.

I then turn to face the origin.

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