Wednesday, January 15, 2014


I lost my struggle. No, I don't mean I lost and it won. I mean that struggle has disappeared from my life. It left so stealthily that I almost didn't notice its absence. But something felt slightly oddly missing. When I looked, everything was as it should be, in its proper place. It had only been a struggle because I had let it, because I had wanted to force things onto my terms, because I had demanded instant gratification, because I had bought into desires for what is not. And the odd missing feeling was that nothing rushed in to full the void that remained when struggle departed. This is not to say that all broken things are now fixed, that all needs are nullified, but that I address them without making a struggle. This feels perfectly natural to me, like blinking, like smiling, like childhood.

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